It’s Here: Before Pictures

Hello Friends Old and New!

I hope that everyone is doing  great in whatever point of their journey they are in. I’ve been holding off on doing something, because I’ve been afraid. It’s no secret as to what my weight is, but I feel that with some shape wear and nice clothes those secrets don’t have to be know by the entire world.  

Recently my clothes are starting to fall off of my body and I’m having some omg moments as I look in the mirror. That being said I think that I need to honor my journey and my starting point, so that with every step I’ll always remember how far I’ve come. So here we go: 

Take Care!!

-J. 

Lazy Blogger — Avid FB user

Hello Friends!

I  hope that everyone is well and doing great with their journeys.  Tomorrow will be three weeks out for me and I’m feeling pretty good. I was really worried for a while that I had a hernia, but turns out that hellish pain on the left side is normal. I’ve also been moved to soft foods stages of eating and I’m doing well with that as well.

I’m finding it a bit difficult to keep up with blogging these days, but I  do have a fb page that is easier for me to access and all of my journey is on there as well, with pictures and videos if you care. 🙂 I’ll still update here as well!

Everyone take care!

-J.

Patience My Dear Child

I thought I was having my final nutritional visit, but I was in and out of the office in 30 minutes. It was sort of disappointing but the nutritionist wasn’t happy that I had stopped exercising and I gained 3 pounds. She was also a little concerned that I hadn’t completely decided on if I want sleeve gastrectomy or roux-en y (gastric bypass) so she scheduled me for what she directly told me was my final review on Monday, February 18th. At this appointment she would like me to have decided the surgery that I would like and we will review the patient handbook that outlines my  pre-op diet and then we will also go through the other post-op phases. After that my understanding is that I’ll have my papers submitted to the insurance for approval.

I also had confirmed a few months ago that I have what is known as a chiari malformation type I , this is a birth defect where my brain in low in my skull and it crowds my spinal cord and blocks spinal cord fluid. This was discovered because I was having horrible headaches and then I started having tingling in my arms and fingers , also dropping things. The headaches were horrible and I always thought they were migraines or high blood pressure which is scary because I have a huge family history of strokes. Turns out I was wrong…so the plot thickens. 🙂

So on Thursday I say a neurosurgeon that my neurologist referred and he recommended that I have surgery over the summer to make room for the fluid and for everything to fit because as I age my symptoms will progress.(guys this is the cliff notes version)

I feel that currently because I’m so far in this process I’m going to continue with my weightloss surgery and also seek a second opinion regarding my Chiari, because thought my symptoms may worsen, they may not, and I’m not crazy about the idea of having brain surgery.  So who knows…… Uh, I’m frustrated and overwhelmed by all of this. So that’s that AND please let me know where you are in your process, I’d love to hear about it! 

One Love!

-J.

I wanted to share this because I think it serves as a reminder that regardless the amount of weight loss you will never truly look like the person standing besides you. So having WLS should not be about appearance or wanting to look like someone else. It truly needs to be a decision that is going to be for the betterment of health. I also post this with the following disclaimer, because I hate when people who receive this surgery don’t just say it. So here it is: Though I have many health related issues. I want this surgery because I want to look better in the clothes I wear and be physically smaller, and sometimes I just hate being the fat girl.” There it is folks. It’s the first and quite possibly the only time I’ll be saying it because I am all about self worth and I don’t trash myself, but I do try and keep it real! Til next time… 😉

Body, Mind & Sol

Marie Claire Sol Walkling70 kg is the current weight of the average Australian woman, according to a new study Marie Claire used for an article I was interviewed for. I roughly fit that criteria with my weight fluctuating a little depending on what’s going on in my life exercise and stress wise. Hence why I was interviewed.

While the feature wonderfully showed beautiful women of all heights, shapes and sizes, I wish it had included an article on body image. And not just a positive “isn’t-it-great-we-can-all-look-good-at-different-sizes” kind of articles but an honest, hardhitting one. One that would have taken a look at the comments made by my fellow models for the day  – about not being able to help comparing herself to the “real” model-  and – about constantly trying to lose weight or having been unhappy with weight in the past. I would have wished for an article that questioned what the…

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Support Groups and Telling Co-Workers

Not even an hour ago, something in my brain prompted me to share with one of my co-workers that I was considering or 99.8 % sure that I was going to have weight loss surgery. Let me tell you, I was so afraid of her reaction but to my surprise she was totally supportive! My job can be a “mean girl” environment from time to time so this is one of the main places that I don’t plan on shouting my news from the rooftops.

As for the support groups, I posted on http://www.rnytalk.com that I went to a support meeting regarding nutritional deficiencies and I was the ONLY person there. While it was nice to have all of my personal questions answered, it was really unnerving that something that is supposed to be such a vital step in my future was a bit of a flat line due to a lack of attendance. I asked them about how many surgeries they have performed and I was told that they are nearing 100. Then why is it that I haven’t met a single person that’s been through the process with them? I think it would be awesome to have some sort of patient advocate.

In case you’re wondering who I’m with I’m having my surgery with Dr. Chand at the Loyola Center for Metabolic Surgery.

So that’s my rant. The staff is all very accommodating and knowledgeable, so I definitely like the center a lot.  Next week is my 2nd appointment with the dietitian  I was told if she clears me. They will be sending my information to insurance and I’ll be receiving my tentative surgery date. I’m so excited and I’m just really ready for this to be here. For another chapter of my life to begin, let me be clear not for my life to begin, because I haven’t spent the last thirty years doing nothing. My life has been and is meaningful, who I am now is a lot. But like one of my favorite bloggers on ProofWLSWorks on Youtube said. I’m ready to be me, but the super concentrated version…

Watch out world!

P.s. I’ll also share in the upcoming days, a few running post from my other blog: http://www.plussizerunner.wordpress.com

Weight Lost Surgery – First Set of Pre-Operative Appointments

Let me start out by saying this is going to be a VERY long post, if you are just here to hear about my DAY ONE of PRE-WLS  search this post for that phrase to start there.

If you’ve been following my blog you know that I’ve been trying to lose some pounds for the last year. I’m failing miserable I might say. At one point I truly was trying with all of my might to do so, but this is really really hard.  At one of my doctors appointments the nurse practitioner asked me if I had every considered surgical options. I looked at her with disgust and said, ” I think I can do this on my own, I’ve got this!” I mean I’m a big girl, but I’m pretty active. A great deal of people can’t keep up with me on the dance floor, and I walk and go hiking a lot! So me need WLS, no thank you..

But I have this little demon.. it’s like a ravenous little sugar and food creature that lives in my belly always asking for more. I imagine it to look a lot like the little creature from the Mucinex commercials. 🙂

But over the last few months there is something that has been rubbing me the wrong way, actually the last year or so it’s been bothering me and I couldn’t quite figure it out but I started to take a look at my life and I realized that I like my life, I have a lot of fun, people love me. I mean I love me, but I don’t love all of me, to be specific I don’t love the extra 125 lbs of me. For anybody that wants to not guess I weight 280 lbs.

For instance I love my spirit and my optimism. My eyes, my hair, my legs even. (edit: I have sexy legs ya’ll lol!) I do not like feeling tired all the time, or holding back because I’m worried about what other people are thinking of me. I’m tired of my friends inviting me to places because I can be entertainment for their dates but not good enough to be a threat to their dates. I do not like hurting when I wake in the mornings. I don’t like not being able to find clothes in my size. I love traveling, but its nerve wrecking to be afraid someone is going to tap you on the shoulder and tell you, “I’m sorry lady, but you’re going to have to purchase an additional seat.”

I want so much more for myself. I CAN have it all! My mom is one of the most beautiful women I know, she is classy, elegance, and sassy and men stop for her. I mean they STOP!  But in the end my mom is still overweight  and suffering the effects of that, including two minor strokes.  The kicker is I’m larger than her. It’s scary to just get a headache, thinking is this the day that I’m going to die from a stroke.

I deserve this. I deserve to be fit and healthy and in love with all of me! I deserve to be respected as an individual. I deserve to be treated like a person, and not the elephant in the room. I want to feel better…I want to feel good about myself.

I don’t know when the exact moment was that I thought WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) was a viable option, but for the last 2 months I’ve been researching it. I happened upon the Loyola Center Metabolic Surgery Center and I attended an online seminar and made my first appointments with a Bariatrican and with a Bariatric Surgeon.

This is where PRE -WLS –DAY ONE picks up

DAY ONE of PRE-WLS

Today I had my meeting with both the bariatrican and the bariatric surgeon. When making the appointments I wasn’t very sure which direction I wanted to go. I’ve since done lots of research with two great forums and books which I will link to and post about at another time.

Loyola offers two programs one of them being medical weight loss which used a multidisciplinary approach to weight loss, ie. exercise,diet, psychological, and prescription at times. The other program offers surgical assistance.

When I went into the appointments I was the usual subdued version of myself: “I don’t know what I wanna do, your the doctor, so tell me what to do!” Though I knew full and well that I was there to discuss surgical weight loss options.

Both appointments consisted of me having a very small exam and answering questions about my family and my personal health and medical history.

After my appointment with the Bariatrician  it took me until after the appointment to really realize what his job was, which is the medical weight loss program, which now makes sense.

The appointment with the Surgeon was like a mini meeting. Loyola is a teaching school so I had a resident, a surgeon and then the surgeons nurse. Their like the weight loss squad over there! I wasn’t uncomfortable, everyone was very nice and personable. They explained the advantages and disadvantages of all the surgeries very nicely and answered all of my questions.

Though he told me I didn’t have to answer at that moment I left pretty sure that I would go with the Rout-en-y procedure. I liked that they are making me decide which I wanted because I also said I was considering the sleeve, but this makes it evident to me that they want to make sure that YOU have made this decision not them and that you are aware of the implications of doing so.

So I’m choosing RNY due to my strong family history of diabetes and heart disease. I didn’t mention that I have sleep apnea and hypertension and arthritis. So in addition to helping with these current disorders I’m viewing this procedure as preventive medicine.

They drew several vials of blood for testing of deficiencies and such. He said he usually finds that people have a vitamin D deficiency. If I was deficient they would call and have me start on supplements.

(EDIT: I got a call this morning. My blood count is low and my iron. They are starting me on 325 mg of Iron 2x’s day and and over the counter Vitamin C supplement. This very likely explains part of unbearable fatigue that I’ve been experiencing.)

I left with additional appointments for an EGD upper GI tract test, abdominal ultrasound,and and EKG. There is also a sleep study component but I’ve been there done that. Just have to follow up with my usual doctor.

All in all I was really pleased. So my next appointments are for next week with my psychologist for the evaluation and then with the dietitian. Also the ABD ultrasound.

Busy, busy, busy weeks ahead.  In case anyone is wondering, at the appointments my insurance was not even mentioned. I have BCBS, I called them myself and asked if the surgery was covered and they said it had to be medically necessary and that there were requirements, which it looks like I meet them.  I think at my next appointment I’ll ask a few more questions of what to expect in regards to a time frame because it will calm some of my anxiety.

So this is it guys….D1…Subsequently the day before the end of the world, mwah, mwah, mwwwwahhh, hhaaa….cough! 😉

(EDIT: We Lived….*waves hand or did we? lol)